Damon Blake

Guest cartoon today from Rob Stears!

Today’s comic comes from Barry Richardson, check out his website Antique Time Machine for more comic goodness.

Barry Richardson draws a lot of comics and was also part of the Student Teacher crew.

Hello,
So, the other day I was on the way to the shops to buy some fresh spinach (not tinned) to make my signature spinach-sweet potato-mushroom-balti noodle dish (see below for recipe) when I saw a young woman being hit by a car. It was awful. She was crossing the road and clearly assumed the deep blue car would slow down as it came to the junction. But it didn’t. In fact, it sped up.

My vantage point was such that I could see the man in the car. He was suited to the car and was also wearing a suit. In his late thirties, this man clearly thought himself a success. He worked for an internet service provider of note, and was on the phone when the accident occurred. He would claim it was an important business call relating to copyright theft, and when talking to the authorities that phone sex worker finally got to use those acting skills she had so hoped would bring her fame, comfort and more that 34 euro an hour. Well, she’d have taken 34 euro an hour, provided she didn’t have to hold a phone to her ear for so long. Her father told her every day that it’d give her cancer. Well, he liked to pretend he was her father. The customer is always right.

When the car and the girl met, her legs came clean off. Her topless legs bounced under the chassis, lightly kicking various parts of the undercarriage, causing little to no damage. Her bottomless top bit went over the top, with a look on her face that clearly belonged to someone who was unhappy.

First you heat the pan with some oil, and add the sliced sweet potato. Put on the spinach to wilt in a handful of water at a low heat. Toss the cut mushroom into the cooking apparatus now. Take the saggy, soggy spinach and chop it up a bit. Lob it into the dish for frying and put on the noodles. I should have said a minute ago; put on the kettle. Put a scoop of balti sauce into the dish and stir sufficiently. Wait. Mix the cooked noodles into the dish and serve in a bowl. Garnish with a fork.

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 Conor O'Toole is a comedian from Dublin who draws a series called Concerns. He plays Conor Shaw in Student Teacher and @ConorOToole on Twitter. He hosts The Death of Comedy once a month. He is currently writing a show about his impending funeral.

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Run for your lives!

George Fox is a Comedian/ Writer based In Dublin, Ireland. He can be seen performing live at numerous venues across Ireland. Follow him on Twitter or Facebook to find out dates for upcoming shows.

I’ll be on the radio again this week folks, on The 2nd Republic with Neil Delamere. Click through to listen to both of the first two episodes on RTE.ie!

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Kevin Lockard is a comedian living in Dublin, Ireland. You can follow him on Twitter at @KevinDollarSign. You can find upcoming shows at KevinLockard.com.

For anyone not going out on a Friday night here’s our friend Christian Talbot interviewing the resident Statler and Waldorf (ie dicks) of Humourisms Damon Blake and George Fox.

Seven 2 Ten Podcast 1 – Damon Blake and George Fox by Seven 2 Ten

Damon Blake is a comedy maker and tea-drinker. He likes comic books and hurting people's feelings.  He's the Uncle Ben to the bitter loners of Humourisms, ie, his death will motivate them on to greater things.You can find him on Twitter @Damon_Blake writing jokes and crying.

This week, Jon Hozier-Byrne explains the merits of giving Jon Hozier-Byrne a job.

As of quite recently, I am on the job hunt. I am journalist by trade, and have edited whole newspapers, magazines, and contributed to the Irish Times and other such big-time newspapers, but unfortunately, finding a job in the ever-expanding field of journalism is a degree more difficult than one might think. In fact, if you’re reading this, there is a decent enough chance that you’ve googled my name after I sent you a CV, and are trying to size me up as a candidate for employment, and also to see if I am mental. Well, look no further, as I present to you; five reasons why the search ends here, and why I am the only employee you will ever need.

5. I have lots of fancy book learning

As you can see from the above photograph of me looking at some books while holding my glasses, I am clearly the intellectual type. I have a Masters in Film studies, and a Bachelors in Philosophy and Film, clinically proven to be the two most intellectual and fancy of the Arts disciplines. Whats more, my Junior Cert results were off the hook. Seriously, they called me Mister CSPE.

4. I am sociable and easy to share an office with

Just look at this photograph, where I am responsibly enjoying a glass of wine while listening to your story with genuine interest. “No, he didn’t!” my eyes seem to say, encouraging you to go on. “She’s clearly jealous of you.”

3. I am extremely punctual

Here, this flower represents punctuality. See? I’m grasping it with my teeth. This is the guy you want to work with. Also, whenever you need a visual representation of punctuality, boom, I’m your guy.

2. I do an excellent impression of a Michael Buble album cover

Why spend company money on both a writer and a Michael Buble impersonator, when you can get both in one convenient package? Where else can you find a simultaneously experienced editor and the artwork for an Italian-Canadian crooner’s Best Of? Never let your office be Buble-free again, hire Jon Hozier-Byrne now.

1. I will give you this flower

If you hire me, I will give you this flower. I know, it’s a pretty sweet flower. Hey, I have three years experience in journalism, have edited the University Observer newspaper and InGoverment Magazine, co-host Ireland’s most downloaded podcast worldwide, am a film critic for Sunshine 106.8, and co-founded this very website, but balls, have you seen that flower? Niiice.

Jon Hozier-Byrne is a journalist and sometime stand-up comic, and is looking for work. Tweet at him here, because he is SO down with new media.

As the title literally says, I was the guest on this week’s Philistine Radio, despite my internet connection’s best efforts to ruin it. Among the topics discussed are the Titanic II and what would happen if you put your hand in the LHC.

Listen here!

Massive thanks to Steven and Ali for having me on the show.

Earlier this week, Humourisms gang members George Fox and Damon Blake had a meeting. During which Damon Blake decided to test some of the equipment we use for filming sketches, and captured some of the deeply philosophical dialogue George Fox often likes to share.

George And Damon Talk

(And in case you are wondering, the equipment we use, and were testing, is Panasonic Lumix GH2 14-140mm, Zoom H4N, Sescom connecting cable.)

George Fox is a Comedian/ Writer based In Dublin, Ireland. He can be seen performing live at numerous venues across Ireland. Follow him on Twitter or Facebook to find out dates for upcoming shows. He also is known for speaking just as passionately in the above video, about under-appreciated Zombie movies.

Damon Blake is a comedy maker and tea-drinker. He likes comic books and hurting people’s feelings.  He’s the Uncle Ben to the bitter loners of Humourisms, ie, his death will motivate them on to greater things.You can find him on Twitter @Damon_Blake writing jokes and crying. He also enjoys tricking his friends.